Final Home Study

Our final home study was completed today. I never received a letter regarding my finger prints so I am resubmitting my prints within the next week or so; they told me the second time around is faster, we'll see. Danny & I have to be tested for Tuberculosis, so I have to call the 18th century to see where we need to go (just kidding, apparently it's not too uncommon). I finished creating our profiles using SnapFish. Once those are received, they can be shown to birth families and then we just wait to be chosen (could be months or years). Oh, and then there's the little $13,000 that we have to come up with. I know that God will provide a way for this to happen if it is His plan for us, so I am trying to not worry.

Quilts for Sale

Our yard sale was successful. We raised a decent amount of money thanks to the help of my sister, my mother-in-law, and some friends.

Our last home study is next week (the final home study fee will be due then). Then, once our profiles are ordered and brought to the social worker, a fee will be due for those as well so every little bit of extra income is great. I am working on some quilts for family members but will resume making baby/toddler quilts to sale as soon as those are complete. 

My mother-in-law and her sisters are working on a beautiful king size quilt that will be for sale once it's completed. If you or someone you knows likes handmade quilts, let me know and hopefully we can sell it to bring in some extra money for the adoption.

King Size Handmade Quilt for Sale to Raise Money for Our Adoption

 

 

My mother-in-law and her sisters working on the quilt that they are donating for our adoption

This is the material for the Auburn baby/toddler quilt I will make

This is the material for the Alabama baby/toddler quilt I will make

Fundraising Yard Sale

We had our fundraising yard sale today. I didn't know what to expect but I think it went well. We had 1/2 a garage full of our own items and then a few friends/family members donated several things so it was a decent sale. We raised more than I expected and it's all going into our adoption savings account.

Our final home study is coming up next week and our profile will be ready as soon as I can get it completed, ok'd by the social worker, and then ordered. Danny still has to go to the doctor (why is it more difficult for men to go to the doctor's office? I guess it's due to work-who would want to go spend money at the dr. rather than making it at work?). My finger prints still have not been ok'd, just waiting on them to be verified or to receive a letter and chance to get them redone. These are the last steps as far as I know, I'm sure once we're finished with these last few things we'll receive a new list of hoops to jump through :) We will be patient and grateful through this whole process knowing that the outcome will be well worth the time, money, and effort. We know that God is control and all things will work out in His time (knowing this makes things a bit less stressful).

Checklist

We have one more home study to go. In the mean time, we have finished our questionnaires, have set up doctors appts, and are almost finished with our profile (waiting on  some pics to come in from S.Allums Photography-who by the way did a great job). I still haven't heard anything about my fingerprints...we're waiting on them to send a letter explaining what I should do next. I don't think we can be put on the "waiting list" until my prints have come back. Other than that, things are moving along with no problems.

I know that if this is God's will, He will provide a way. We are having a yard sale March 24th so hopefully we are able to bring in a little bit of extra money. I've sold a couple of hand-made quilts so I plan on making a few more of those [Alabama & Auburn-it will be interesting to see which one sells first :)].

(One of the quilts I sold)

Our 4th Home Study

We had our 4th home study with our social worker today. Today's meeting was all about our parenting skills. We talked about our children's personalities, our disciplining methods, and our views of our roles as parents. The meeting was fairly quick since we have children and are already "used" to parenting. 

We have one more home study to go. We thought we'd be able to get this one done with today's but we had some paperwork that needs to be turned in first. Since we are open to adopting a child of a different race, we have to do some biracial/trans-racial exercises and discussion questions. Some of the questions we have to answer seem a bit odd to me but I guess they just want to get us thinking and sure that we are ready for any questions or comments that come our way if we adopt someone outside of our race...We have to attend a gathering where we would be the minority and write down how we feel and if we were treated differently or felt differently, etc... We'll do whatever seemingly-silly things it takes to get on the waiting list. 

I started working on our profile tonight-this is a small book of pictures and information about our family that the birth-mothers will see and choose families from. Are 20 pages too much or not enough? I'm still waiting on my fingerprints to be processed for my background check. I hope it clears soon, our social worker can't move forward until it does. So, if my calculations are correct, we have one home study, a couple of doctor's visits and my background check to come back and then we are ready to WAIT. I have heard of adoptions being completed in 2 months and I have heard of some taking 5 years, so I don't know what to expect but either way we are excited to be able to add to our family by caring for an orphaned child.

Quilts for Sale

Next weekend, we are having our pictures taken by a photographer. We haven't had a family picture since before Cady was born (exept for the ones taken by Mr. Tripod, which always seem to be unlevel). Normally, I take all of our pictures but decided I'd let someone who knows what they are doing take a few of all of us [she and her husband are also adopting (for the second time), so it's a neat connection]. Hopefully, we'll get some good pictures to put in our profile.

As we wait for our next home study (which should be in the next week or two), I am trying to think of creative ways to make a little extra money. I've made quilts for my kids since they were born and every now & then make them for family/friends so I am going to make a few and see if I can sell them. I've set up an account on Etsy and if they sell, the money will go towards the adoption; if they don't, I'll find someone who can use them.

Individual Interviews: Part 1

Today was my interview with our social worker. She was wonderful as usual and is so easy to talk to, which is a good thing because they have to ask some very personal questions. She was able to meet the kids for the first time. Even with strep, Cady was her usual social self, coming downstairs every few minutes to get attention from our guest. Within the next few weeks (after Danny returns from Guatemala), we will have our 3rd home study which involves parenting/disciplining matters; this should be fairly simple since we already have children and actively discipline them :). We may even combine our 3rd and 4th home study into 1 and then will begin working on our profile (this is what the birth mothers look at while choosing the families they will place their child with). So, for now, things are going smoothly and we look forward to what God has planned for us.

*Last night and into the early morning, several parts of Alabama were hit by tornadoes/severe weather. At this time there are at least 2 known fatalities. Please pray for their families and for those who were injured or have lost their home.

Open Adoption

Danny & I attended our first adoption training today. It was a bit long (9-3) but we learned more about adoption and now have some decisions to pray and think about. The theme of this training was openness of today’s adoptions and what it means to us as potential adoptive parents. I’ll admit Danny & I were afraid of the aspect of open adoption when we first began this process. We assumed the worse could happen and had fears of the birth mother or father being a crazed maniac and kidnapping our child if she or he knew anything about us (maybe we watch too much TV).  We now feel a little more at ease with the idea of a somewhat open adoption after hearing an actual birth mother’s story and the assurance she feels when she receives updates periodically of her child growing and being loved by the family she chose for him. We also heard from 3 adoptive families and each one of them has a different degree of openness. While I don’t expect us to become BFF’s with our child’s birth parent, I am more at ease  with open adoption now that I’ve heard from real people who are living proof that it is doable and not so scary.

Not so side note: One of the adoptive families we heard from today began their adoption in Guatemala a few years ago. Their son was a few months old when they began and unfortunately Guatemala’s government changed its adoption policies leaving the US unable to adopt from Guatemala. While their case was grandfathered in, this couple (4 1/2 years later) has not been able to bring their son home due to the large number of court cases in the new, but flawed, system. This child has lived his whole life in an orphanage while his parents live here in the US anxiously waiting for the day they can bring him home. It broke our hearts to hear this, firstly because no child should be away from their family that long and secondly because Guatemalan’s hold a special place in my and Danny’s hearts (Danny and my parents have been on mission trips there and have formed relationships and a love for the people). They have since adopted another little boy from the US but are still holding hope for their first child to be reunited with them. Please pray for this family as they continue the long journey of bringing their precious boy home.

Monday is my next appointment with our social worker. This will be the first time I’ve had an individual interview with her (Danny’s is Tuesday). My interview will be at our house so she gets to meet the kids. Gage and Cady have wanted to meet her, so I’m sure this will be a good experience for them.

Home Study Numero Uno

This morning was our first home study and while we didn’t know what to expect, I’m glad to say it was fairly painless. Our social worker came over to the house for a couple of hours and asked us several background/relationship/everyday-life questions. She was given the grand tour of our home and seemed pleased that there were no drugs or weapons of mass destruction lying around. She was also impressed with Cady’s room; I informed her that only the grandchildren get the privilege of having a one-of-a-kind painted room by Nana.

We were given a couple of ideas for ways to raise money for this adoption. One suggestion was to take donations from families who have items they do not want anymore and then sell them (the stuff, not the families) in a garage sale in the Spring. If anyone is interested in donating items or if you want to help with organizing the sale, just let us know (jkristinparker@yahoo.com or comment below). I’ve never had a garage sale so anyone with expertise is more than welcome to share some insight.

Next we must create individual autobiographies and set up separate interviews with our social worker (Danny & I have been together for the previous 2). After that, it will be time to create our family profile for the birth mothers to see. Fortunately this is something they have set up online so I don’t have to over-obsess about creating one from scratch.

We truly have been blessed and look forward to what God has planned for us as His adopted children.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth.” (Ephesians 1:3-10)

The 1st Meeting

We had our first meeting with the social worker yesterday and had a lot of our questions answered. We found out that we will more than likely be adopting an infant. For those of you who know me, you know that this makes me very happy. I would be happy with any child, I know that orphans of all ages need homes, but I selfishly hoped I would have at least one more baby. Since we have two children, we may have more of a wait ahead of us because couples without children are put at the top of the list; however, we're not being too picky as to what is "acceptable" to us, so that may be in our favor.

I feel a little more at ease after hearing how our agency cares for the birth mothers and uses this as a ministry to them; sometimes we forget about them. We (I say "we", but I guess I really mean "I") think about the children and the parents who adopt them, but haven't given much thought as to why these women are having to make a truly difficult decision. Whatever their reason may be, I'm so thankful they selflessly choose adoption instead of abortion. I'm also grateful for those who foster, who open up their homes and families to provide, however brief it may be, a loving and safe environment for children who are waiting for their families.

Our next visit with our social worker will be Dec. 8th at our home. In the next few weeks/months, we have quite a bit to do. We have to create a profile that will be shown to prospective mothers, we have to go to the doctor for our check-ups (I of course am used to going to the doctor and getting blood work done, but Danny may not be so excited about this part), we have to get copies of everything from our marriage certificate to our tax returns, etc. So, The Parker's will be busy, busy, busy for the next few months or years (hopefully months). Whatever may come from this, good or bad, we know that God is control and we are excited to see what He has planned for us.

"Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O LORD, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all." (1 Chronicles 29:11-12)

The Next Step

Today, we received our Child Abuse and Neglect (CANS) forms, finger print cards, and State Police Clearance Letter. The CANS forms are basically a criminal history/background check. The forms were completed online by the two of us, but we have to get them notarized and then will mail them to our social worker and she’ll submit them to Security Biometric Clearing Network (SBCN) (a.k.a. really scary-sounding place). We also have to go to our local police dept or DHR office to get finger print cards processed. 

Thursday November 17th is our first meeting with our social worker. I know it will take a while for a child to be placed with us, but we are excited to get things moving along (hence, this blog, where I feel the need to post every little thing that is happening). 

Side Note: T-Shirts are in; please see me, call me, email me if you’d like to buy one. They are really cute and were designed by our kids, Gage (10) & Cady (5).  $12 for kid sizes, $15 for adult, $20 for XXL. All profits go directly to our adoption account.

So, Just How Much Does Adption Cost?

Since we are going to have fundraisers to help pay for our adoption (and because a few people have asked), I think I should explain up front what some of the costs associated with adoption are and why we are so appreciative of any help we get:

Explanation of Adoption Fees
(Domestic Adoption)
AGENCY FEES:
-Application Fee: $250 (due with application submission)
-Initial Program Fee: $500 (due at profile submission)
-1st Home Study Fee (AL Residents): $750 (due at 1st Home Study visit)
-2nd Home Study Fee (AL Residents): $750 (due at 3rd Home Study visit)
-Annual Update Fees (AL Residents): $350, annually
-Placement Fee: $13,000 - 20,000 (Home Study fees are credited to this fee)
ESTIMATED TOTAL: $14,000 - $21,000 (this does not include attorney
fees, background checks, doctor's visits, consultations, etc...)

Now you know why adoption is not for everyone! We are by no means rich, but have been blessed with jobs and the ability to provide for our family. We want to extend the blessings we've received and welcome into our home and family an orphaned child. While we are already saving and making sacrifices of our own, we will need help raising money. We plan on having several fundraisers throughout this process so please let us know if you would like to help in any way or if you have any ideas of some fundraisers you've seen do well. Thank you again for your support and prayers.

"Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."-
James 1:26-27

Adoption T-Shirts

We are selling t-shirts designed by our children, Gage and Cady, to help raise money for our upcoming adoption. All proceeds will be placed in our adoption account that we've set up specifically to help pay adoption expenses. Thank you for your support! Please comment below or send an email to jkristinparker@yahoo.com if you have any questions.


*If you are family/friend/NCBC member and would like to order a shirt but do not want to pay extra to have it shipped to you, send an email to jkristinparker@yahoo.com and we'll bring it to you as soon as we receive it.

-Father to the Fatherless- This is Cady's design, it says: "Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families. Psalm 68:5-6" -Least of These-  This is Gage's design, it says: "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me. Mathew 25:40"

Sizes/Prices

Kids 2-4 $12.00 USD Kids 6-8 $12.00 USD Kids 10-12 $12.00 USD Kids 14-16 $12.00 USD Adult Small $15.00 USD Adult Medium $15.00 USD Adult Large $15.00 USD Adult XL $15.00 USD Adult XXL $20.00 USD

Design

Father to the Fatherless Least of These

Adoption App

We finally completed and mailed our adoption application today. I know it seems silly but I couldn't help but wonder if our answers were good enough. I felt like we were filling out a job application...choose us, we're great! Lifeline is a Christian organization so they asked for some doctrinal background and individual testimonials. I typically don't like testimonials because they seem ME centered (unlike this blog, right?) so I wasn't exactly loving the idea of having to type one up but it was a good exercise in reminding us of what God has done in our lives. I will say that as I typed a sentence, I deleted two; it was frustrating trying to tell "my" story that really isn't about me. I didn't chose God, He chose me; He made me a new creation. Gage, however, liked the idea; he's started to type his own testimonial. I have yet to see the finished product but am looking forward to reading it. We're trying to keep the kids as involved in this process as possible. We're going to make an "adoption savings" box. If Cady has her way, and let's face it she probably will, there will be lots of glitter and stickers on said box. Assuming that our application is approved, I think the next step is a background check which can take a couple of months to complete. If Danny's criminal past stays hidden, we'll be one step closer...just kidding in case this blog is a part of the background check...